Tough Shit

Only a small select handful of people know about my assault. I want everyone to know and to scream about it. I want nobody to know and to cry about it.  I want there to be justice for the crime that was committed. I want a quiet full nights sleep without nightmares or panic that it's happening again. I want to stop blaming myself. I want to tell my mom. I want to close my eyes really tight and forget who I was when it happened. I want to forgive myself for it.