Shanice Killebrew

I believe it is important to be kind and understanding because each of us has our own walk and we never know what someone else is going through. By being kind, I can make sure that I am treating everyone with respect and dignity, as I also want to be treated. The ability to be creative can be granted when people choose to take on leadership roles. I like to find solutions to problems and be a positive influence and help to those around me. For example, when I hear gossip about others instead of playing a part in the conversation, I redirect people’s thoughts into positive aspects of understanding instead of belittling the next individual. During this situation, I learned how important it is to be a kind leader. 

World Went Crazy Over Tissue

a work of creative nonfiction

by Shanice Killebrew

Love is like respect free to give and receive, at least that is how I see it. As I greet strangers with smiles and hold the door open for the one after me. Being sure to acknowledge one another when walking into a room; furthermore, pouring out compliments where they are due. I am sensitive to the vibes humans produce, in depth with empathy. Wearing a smile to cover up the anxiety from accumulated energy, I am exposed to. Producing words that uplift even the most oppressed. It costs humans nothing at all to have respect and love for one another and even the earth.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness as they say. So when the world went crazy over tissue and covering their face or even buying all the food off the shelves. I came up with a game plan and decided to start a cleaning/ organizing company to get rid of the germs. Healing one house at a time besides cleaning up is actually soothing for my soul. Might even just be my OCD that kicks in, feeling as if things should be a certain way.  Extending a helping hand in any way possible. I am a strong believer that everything has a place, just like humans all have a purpose. 

Glancing at the past using it as motivation for the future, imagining myself healed from depression. I plan to create a business for healing. Furthering my education to learn holistic healing techniques is the direction I'll take. In today’s world health is a priority while image is a distraction, distorted by photoshop and filters. If I can enlighten the mind of the oppress, opening the mouths of those who have been silenced helps to simmer out the violence. Creating opportunities for those who look unqualified on paper using art as a tool to express one’s pain, creating art galleries as a result of the collateral damage life throws at us.  It’s one thing to look good on the surface but to actually be at peace internally is something much harder to grasp.

Being mixed

I was born in the 90s but raised in the 80s. At least growing up in the 90s that's how it felt. As a child, you don’t know what race is. Race doesn’t even cross your mind. You just see people and love what makes them different. I was raised a little differently from others. The color stood out to me early in life. Due to the fact, none of my dolls looked like me. Playing with an object that is supposed to mirror a human's image can create a lot of different beliefs in a child's mind. One I lived with a Hispanic family. Even though I look Hispanic I never was taught the words. Growing up in a home where you don’t understand you pick up on body language fast. I was the darkest person in the house, most of the time I was the darkest person around. My father figure was considered dark like me too but he mostly only knew Spanish. So even though we looked similar I knew we were different. At school, I noticed the difference in how people communicated with each other. The same shades tend to stick together while I never quite fit in anywhere. Being too light for the dark crowd and too dark for the white crowd. That's when I noticed white privilege so I wanted it. In my little 5 years old mind, I thought your skin color was something you just ask for. I wanted to be privileged like the other girls in my class or even like the dolls, I played with. I wanted to come with straight hair, nice clothes, a Ken doll, and a best friend. I figured if my skin was lighter my life would be brighter. My curly hair wasn’t as popular as it is today. The hot comb or a hair wrap was considered having your hair done so a curly fro was the opposite. Naturally, that's what I was stuck with. Applying perms just to get my hair firm. Never quite coming to terms with the fact that I was mixed.

Collage Explanation

I am blended with the blood of a Native American woman and an African American man. It’s part of my native culture to smudge. Sage is what we use when praying and clearing negative energy from our personal space. Burning white sage in a large seashell, fanning the smoke with a feather is a tradition passed down from my ancestors. As a young child, I didn’t know the difference between the smoke in the air. As time progressed the more I learned about my culture the more I understood why smudging is so important. Native Americans had to attend boarding schools and were stripped of their culture. Having the freedom of prayer makes me appreciate our earthly medicines even more. 

Sound is very powerful and can also clear negative energy out of a room. That is why I enjoy brain waves it’s another form of sound that can open different areas of the human mind. For me, different sounds are therapeutic. That is why music has a big influence on my life. Certain sounds have the ability to calm my soul; whereas, beats have a way of interrupting my thoughts. Music is one stress reliever we all can share. To create a sound that can change the vibrations in a room is remarkable in my eyes.

Singing is a talent I embody. No, I am not one of those people who sing in the shower. When I was younger to feed my talent I joined choirs at school. We used to perform at large concerts. Singing became an outlet that let me be my genuine self. Singing has its way of just pouring out of my soul no matter how shy I am. Not one to sing in front of a crowd, cause I don’t like attention. As time has progressed I departed from my secret talents only to exercise them when I'm alone. 

Books are another outlet for me as well. I haven't always been the best reader although I enjoy reading. When my eyes make contact with words and I read stories my imagination takes off. Books on wisdom seem to be my favorite; although, poetry books are quite amazing to me as well. Storytelling is huge in today's society, but the best stories are in books. Books that aren’t turned into movies seem to hold secrets of the universe and people overlook them all the time. 

Graffiti artwork has captivated my eyes since I could see it. Growing up on the southside graffiti was quite popular. I find it rather fascinating what a person can do with spray paint. The morals artists create expressing themselves to the community normally come out beautiful. Graffiti can be found all over the world I noticed when traveling. At moments I catch myself turning my head while driving past morals, something about the colors always gets me.  

Paint has so many textures, just like humans have so many emotions. Publicizing my emotions isn’t easy for me. Painting is a form of expression I use to vent what I bottle up. Due to my poised demeanor, expressing myself feels uncomfortable. Not sure if it’s a law I created in my mind. Somewhere in life I agreed with myself and decided not to express my talents, or my inner emotions, I even managed to disconnect from other humans so they can’t feel my pain. Being an empath I feel a lot of emotions that don’t necessarily come from me. So painting is a form of my therapy. 

Makeup is another form of art. Enhancing the beauty that is already on the surface is why I love makeup. The beauty industry has brought a new meaning to makeup as time has progressed. Offering all-natural products to even sunscreen in your coverup. The use of makeup has increased for all demographics since beauty lines have created a brand for darker skin tones. The beauty industry has grown rapidly over my lifetime.

Poetry is another expression of art that I learned of early in life. Most movies have poetic words love stories mostly. Maya Angelou is extremely powerful with the words she spoke. I believe my first time hearing one of Maya Angelou’s poems was in third grade. Phenomenal woman swept the world off of its feet. The words she wrote describing the woman she was, captivated my mind. Maya Angelou made being a woman sound amazing and magical.

Oprah Winfrey had a tv show that came on ABC channel 12 at 4:00 pm right after school. As a young person, it wasn’t necessarily a tv show nine-year-olds should be watching.  Oprah Winfrey to me is an ideal woman. She not only has a classy look but also has a platform she used to teach and learn from others. At one point in time, I looked her life story up online, learning she lived through a hard childhood inspired me to keep Faith through my struggles. With Oprah being from Chicago and me only living a few hours away I used to daydream of meeting her. Oprah Winfrey is a remarkable woman in my eyes. 

Romeo and Faith are my greatest creation yet. My son is nine and my daughter is seven. They usually enjoy family fun days or family movie nights. Followed by a snack bowl or a fruit plate. Romeo enjoys being the man of the house. Although Faith is like our baby boss always calling the shots. I sometimes feel like I had twins. The love and laughs we share are rewarding. Being their mother is one of the greatest things that ever happen to me.

Cooking was always huge in every household I lived in. I loved being in the kitchen ever since I could remember. Preparing meals took multiple family members at times, which are usually the best meals in my opinion. To feed others is an amazing way to express love. Due to me being a mother I love to feed and cater to people. A well-balanced meal can even shift a human’s energy level. When people want a second plate it’s also a sign you’re a good cook or they’re just hungry. Either way, you didn’t make them throw up.

June 24, 1991, is the day I was born making me a Cancer. I can’t say I am defined by astrology cause my personality traits aren’t what scientists claim them to be. Maybe being born a month late I have Gemini tendencies at times. Astrology isn’t a huge influence on my mind as it is on the universe. I am not that lady that reads her zodiac sign in the morning before I start my day. In my opinion, most astrology apps are made of a few human’s opinions not always accurate information. The Cancer sign looks like yin and yang or even a number six and nine for example (69). I find it as a plain sign everyone needs a “Cancer” in their life. Cancers can add balance to any relationship as well as the environments in which they enter.