Pray

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I make my skin crawl.

Soul yearning to pull itself

From this prison of flesh

To be with my God

Who can take away this feeling,

These desires that are wrong.

And Mama says I have to pray,

I have to pray

In the morning,

In the evening,

In the night,

Mama says I have to pray.

Hands outstretched to a Lord

Who I believe has forsaken me,

Has broken all ties and removed

His light from within me.

And I cry myself to sleep,

Wishing for the solace that death brings.

And Mama says I have to pray,

I have to pray

In the morning,

In the evening,

In the night,

Mama says I have to pray.

Soul breaking as he pushes me away,

Spits in my face, and calls me a faggot.

And I can’t hate him for we’re both

Trapped in a place that would rather us

Be cold in a grave than alive and

Dwelling in our own heaven.

And Mama says I have to pray,

I have to pray

In the morning,

In the evening,

In the night,

Mama says I have to pray.

Family’s lips coated in sugar do

Nothing to disguise the stench of

Death wafting from their tongues.

They have murdered many like me

And many like them will continue

Long after we both are dead

With no marks left on the world

To show that we were once human too.

And Mama says I have to pray,

I have to pray

In the morning,

In the evening,

In the night,

Mama says I have to pray.

And I do. My mouth builds me a car

And my minds drives me far away

From this place down a road that

I won’t look back on.

I have ran away from their dead god

And to mine that has always been with me.

And Mama says I have to pray,

I have to pray

In the morning,

In the evening,

In the night,

Mama says I have to pray.

My prayer is that my life not be in vain.

Let me, O Lord, sway the heart of that boy.

Let me allow him to love me when I cannot love myself.

Let me remove the burns left by the

Scalding tongues of my blood

And wash my body anew.

And Mama says I have to pray,

I have to pray

In the morning,

In the evening,

In the night,

Mama says I have to pray.

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Christine Sloan Stoddard

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The Story Collider Online Story Hour: Trapped