I Left Myself Behind For That?

I couldn’t believethat I left myselfbehind for that,

just to catch upwith old memories,caressing miragesfrom afaras if I didn’t realizewhen it allwasn’t real anymore,

they faded, leaving theheat of resentmentthat I knew nothingof until I had nochoice but to faceit,

I was left alone longbefore I realizedthat I was,

but during my timeof celebration therewas what seemed tobe love until it alldissipated with thepent up anger thatthey covered mystory with.

I felt the sweat boilon my neck,my gritting teethsharing some of thesteam,

my vision was hazyas I tried to regainmy balance afterliving in my headfor so long,

I thought I movedon times ago, butI was too jittery tohave taken careof me for longenough.

they just throw stonesthat I never knewthey had,

thinking they're entitled,

to my time & my feelings.

‘I left myself behindfor that?’

those words I learnedto sing & rejoice inonce beforeafter changing them froma question to a statementdressed with laughter,

because I realized thatit’s just the way thatit was all along.