Breaking While Pushing Forward

  I never wanted you to take one of those      Flowers sitting on one of those boxesor to pack up your love,And get ready to send them off to faceGod.

I never wanted you to say goodbye,To think that this was itEven though most of your realityWith him was toxic.

I never wanted to see youSitting in any pew,Mourning throughoutthe morning of aHomecoming,

Not for him especially,

 not for anyone.

I always wanted you to feelLove instead of the emptinessthat seems to come atall of the wrong times.

I didn't want to see youCry when the time camefor you to realizethat some of yourDreams wouldn't & couldn'tcome true with themDue to death emotionally& physically.

I didn't want to see griefIn your eyes once again.

I didn't want to share thatGrief once again.

I didn't want to see the painThat would grow intoYour next steps,

But I know that you're climbingUp a mountainwith weather of the fourSeasons,

Sweating and freezingat the same time,

Wondering when the dreamwill come to an endAnd when the start willbe for the real lifeThat you've always wanted.

you must grow,and growth canbe painful.

growing pains don't just hurt yourarms and legs,

They can toy with your soul,your mind and your heart.

--

I know that this journeyStarted for you years agoAs a little girl,

Facing a mother and brothersIn the Windy CityWithout a fatherTo tell youTo watch out for theMonsters thatClean up in the sunshineAppearing to beeverything that theyAre not.

Or to walk you downThe aisle when theTime came.

Or to really sitDown, talk andsee you offOn your first date.

Love has comeFor you thoughWithout you beingAble to hear hisInput,

you felt his spirit speakTo you.

Love has shaken you.

Love has made you.

Love has come out of you.

I know that we'vePrayed for peace togethereven though weare in different spaces.

Only difference is youare letting go of a love,a whirlwind of everythingBut imagination.

--

I hope that one dayYou look in the mirrorAnd see the face ofA survivor and a doer,A lover and a fighter,

A face of someone whohas lived and isn't done yet,

A face of a woman whoHas so much life and loveto offerThe world in her everyStep and utter of aPhrase.

The doors can't openor close unless youApproach them,Ready to fightAnd challenge.

The love of yourLife is you.

The person that hasChanged but stayed trueTo you is you.

You have not beenDefeated,But deterred,

So don't let anyone oranything tell youDifferent.

Unappreciative peopleShouldn't help youto define yourself.

You have been a motherA lover, a friend, a guideA comedian, a therapistA cook, a doctor,

Master of many tradesBut a slave to no one,

Yet, a servant to One.

The miracles that you'veOrchestrated.

The lives that you'veTouched.

The hearts that you've healed.

The heartbeat that you remember.

It's all a part of you

Because you are love.

That's why you haveDreams for other people.

That's why you care so much.

That's why you can't let go.

Because you are love.

You are what a lot of

People don't know how

Or care

To express.

That's why there is envyEven in your own home.

That's why there is soMuch misunderstandingBecause hate refusesTo understandA love like you.

So continue to be love,

Continue to be realnessAnd fearlessness.

Continue to dream & tryBecause there's no mistakeIn an attemptTo chase what youWould like to get toknow & grow with.

Be love as youHave always been.

You are coming of age,

Never tooLate or too early.

It's just in timeFor you.

your growth is never ending,and you never get too oldto grow.