she was afraid ofmaking the spacehers,because it neverfelt like there wasroom for her tobe who she wanted.maybe it was thestares & laughs whochased her mind overthe years,the ones who tauntedher identity,or the silent tearsafter giving her allto the space just tobe rejected of herplace.
 it all felt toofamilial & othersnever understoodthe difficultyin just standing &being in front of others,even in under a minute,a meeting of eyes

could turn into cries for help with no real explanation but well-being in the worst of its kind. to think the thoughts of others that never existed, helped her to build the prison that no one else could see or be, except when she stripped naked in anguish. it was death who played in her head & trapped her brain, & filled her ears, telling her howto be, at the end of each day she wondered, 'How could that even be me?'