In today’s headlines: The daily millennial complains of increased apartments rentswhilst aligning carefully, his dysfunctional yellow bicycleby the chipped paint thinner walls on his compoundThis is in order create an illusion of aestheticbut observe as he stalls, along his walk to the rent departmentas to seem not too interested in the counter offerbecause after all,money is a social conceptHe then proceeds to divergesteering clear into the nearest Starbucksas his “basic” radar goes offsniffing the faint tinge of a chai latte in the airHe looks around in order to find more of his kindbut it seems as though the setting sunhas created a labyrinth of hueswhich has now distracted the Vine cultured millennialsoff their 6-second attention spanThey proceed to whip out their iPhone 7’sthat weighs just as much as a pocket watch they could possibly be hidingin their plaid pant pocketsin order to take an Instagram pictureof a half tilted take away cup in ValenciaRemember always, the millennial motto:If you place your possessions by an aesthetically pleasing backgroundmake sure to always double-checkthat they are colour coordinated and bizarrebecause why be rational when you can be irrational? -Nicole Ruth